My First NoFap Timeline

A detailed account of my first NoFap attempt in 2020.


7/4/20231 min read

yellow banana on white background
yellow banana on white background

Welcome, everyone, to my Nofap timeline—a chronicle of my previous attempt in 2020 to break free from the grip of pornography. This timeline serves as a personal account, detailing the highs and lows I experienced throughout my initial journey.

Its purpose is to provide insight and guidance to those who are embarking on their own path of quitting porn, especially those who are new to the concept of abstinence.

Within these pages, you'll find a detailed history of what I went through as a total rookie, someone who had never attempted abstinence before. I share my triumphs, challenges, and the invaluable lessons I learned along the way.

By recounting my experiences honestly and openly, I hope to offer support, inspiration, and a sense of camaraderie to others who may be navigating similar struggles.

Remember, each individual's journey is unique, but by sharing our stories, we can find common ground and learn from one another. So, whether you're just starting out or have been on this path for a while, I invite you to join me on this exploration of self-discovery, growth, and the pursuit of a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Day 1-7

The clock had hit 11:30am and I had been working for 2 hours straight.

Granted it is a new skill (video editing), visually enticing and lots of fun; I was pleasantly surprised that I can actually focus on work again. Getting myself to work on important projects was always a hassle. I would get bored when it becomes hard and do something brainless.

And I had not been playing any computer games at all. That to me is like seeing my dad performing Swan Lake in white skin tight dance belt.

It is insane!

Gaming has been my singular hobby since I was 12. I play them even at the expense of almost failing my final year in Polytechnics (equivalent to a United States high school diploma). Yes, I was addicted.

Before having a family, I can play 16 hours straight for days, only taking small breaks to pee and eat. After my daughter started going to nursery 2 years ago, my daily gaming streak was at least 8 hours.

For the first time in my life, I stopped playing computer games entirely and I also realized that I played games largely due to boredom and to seek a false sense of accomplishment. I wanted to feel powerful at least in the virtual world.

There is also a noticeable increase in my energy level. I am able to function more optimally throughout the day.

Day 8-15

The room is dark and filled with the soft buzzing sound of the air-conditioner and the impromptu snoring symphony of Rain and Thunder. While they all sound hypnotizing, I had been flipping and turning for the past 2 hours. I lay restlessly and desperately trying to get some sleep.

Insomnia had hitted hard. Lacking sleep became regularity and frustration piled up.

This is also when urges started kicking in. Sex seemed to be everywhere and social media being the worst.

It is crazy to see what things that people will do to get clicks. Half naked women in Instagram, scanity dressed Youtubers, even fellow nofappers putting on suggestive thumbnails as clickbait.

Come on man~

Give us a break here. Willpower is already working overdrive here.

Putting salt to the wound, I almost relapsed when I was reading one of my favorite anime fanfiction stories. Memories of the hentai images of those anime characters started assaulting my mind non-stop.

Lesson learned. Do not read fanfiction till the reboot is completed.

Day 16-22

Started noticing a weird sensation around my groin area. It felt like rivers of energy flowing inwards and concentrating around the pelvic area. Sexual energy gathered around root chakra due to lack of discharge? Seriously, I have no idea.

It is quite distracting as it brings attention to the penis which is the last thing I wanted to focus on during nofap.

I am also becoming more aware of how my actions can have an effect on others. Closing doors while vacuuming suddenly make sense as it will not disturb neighbours with the loud noise.

Honestly, I am a very self centered person. I have a heck care attitude not because I am confident in myself but I really don’t care what others think.

I guess I am becoming less emotionally withdrawn.

Caught myself before faring into anger several times.

Day 23-30

Insomnia disappeared on day 24. Whew... sleep at last.

What’s surprising was I had morning woods on day 23, 25 and 29 and I hadn’t had them in years!

I started having weird dreams that include porn. I had one that I was showing off my work to my parents on the computer when images of porn started popping up on the screen. The shock and embarrassment were so intense that I jerked up from sleep immediately.

Day 31-35

Still observing women by body parts. There is a concentrated sensation around the groin area. Had the urge to surf hentai sites on day 35.

Day 39-40

Morning woods on both days. I had dreamt of seeing naked females from an anime. My mind was really playing with me.

Day 41

Started appreciating my wife more than just her physical attributes.

Day 42

Morning wood~~

Day 43

Watched an interview between a nofapper and his lady friend on how she feels about guys doing nofap. One comment that striked me hard is that most men cannot stand their girlfriend or wife watching porn and masturbate with vibrators while they allow themselves to.

Day 48

Less social anxiety when in-laws visited. Was able to hold conversations with them.

Day 50

Dream of hentai 9 tail fox opening her vagina for me. Probably due to the effect of trying to find images to put in my quitting porn video. The word quitting porn will show lots of porn images….

Day 51

Made love to my wife. Yes it is making love not having sex. We felt like it was the first time we made out. I was immersed in the intimate moment and took the course very slowly. We kissed a lot and my erection was crazy. There was no need for any visualization of porn to keep my erection going. I love every moment of it.

Day 52

Different experience from masturbation. I do not feel tired or weaker from the aftermath.

Day 54

Urges to see hentai had intensified. Wondered was it because of an orgasm that triggered the urge to masturbate with hentai (I did not know about the chaser effect during this moment). Keep thinking that it is ok to slip now. Once a month won’t hurt.

Day 62.

Urge has been very strong for the past few days. Seeked out youtube videos on anime waifus and compulsion to look for scantily-crafted photos.

Day 64.

Told myself I will just see if there are any updates on my favorite hentai site. Heart pounding, face flushed, fingers trembling, I am lost into it for hours. But I did not masturbate. I did not know what I was doing was edging. Saved the tabs in the browser. Thinking as long as I complete work first, nothing wrong with enjoying masturbation right?

Day 65

Relapsed. Spent almost 1 hour searching and masturbating. Sense of emptiness and no sense of contentment as compared to having sex with wifey. It felt as if a brain fog had appeared. Only condolence is I no longer enjoy genres of violent nature. It turns me off.

Day 66

Relapsed again. Rationalize that I haven’t finished watching all the new contents. Will start once I get over it. Another 1 hour spent.

Day 67

Thankfully, I kept my words… Start of 2nd nofap attempt.

Noticed that I had lost all my zen mode. I had less patience for my family than when I was two months in nofap. Started assuming the worst of people.

Confessed to my wife about my relapse and she said she could somehow tell due to the change in my being/vibe.

Started becoming critical of women's body types again.

Day 68

Started feeling self loathing. Kept thinking about how weak I am. Toss and turn in bed due to frustration. Urges hit hard.

Day 69

Unmotivated and overall low on energy level. Woke up with a bad mood and is prone to anger. Also notice that the energy that concentrated around the groin area is gone.

Day 70-79

Strong urges everyday. Energy started to gather around groin area by day 79.

Day 80

I was very horny just by a display of cleavage. It was unexpected because the YouTube video is supposed to be teaching how to make income from Etsy. But the presenter was so scantily dressed.

Day 81-82

Urges Urges Urges! It got worse when I was watching a video on Meme analysis on nofap. It is filled with tons of naked women and sexual suggestions. I wonder if it was the uploader's intention to trigger all nofappers who watch his videos.

Edged (didn’t know about the effect of edging yet) at the end of the day.

Had an extreme urge to check on the update of a hentai artist. Check for 10 mins and go back to work. Wrote a few lines and went back to the site again. Even though I only spent 30 mins on the site, I felt super hyped.

Day 85

Even shorter fuse than before. Was easily frustrated with my eldest daughter.

Day 91

Edged and relapsed.

Rest was history… I completely went back to gaming and porn as I had given up until now. Well which I relapse after a 78 days attempt. It I guessed a good improvement.

Let’s keep going.

Pro tips

Do not depend on parental control. I tried on macbook, while it blocks certain adult sites if you place restrictions it does not block hentai sites at all even if I add in manually the websites to restriction pages.