Pain Is Essential
Most of us grow up being taught to avoid pain. What if pain is essential for you to enjoy pleasure? And no, I am not a masochist.
SELF DEVELOPMENTNOFAP
1/29/20253 min read


Recently, I found myself completely unmotivated to do, well... anything.
Games? Boring. My favorite fanfiction? Meh.
Even that mindless scroll through YouTube Shorts felt like chewing on cardboard. I had overdosed on quick dopamine hits—games, junk food, porn, endless internet browsing—and my brain was officially fried.
I went about my day feeling agitated, disinterested, and clunky.
My focus was shot.
I knew I should be doing something productive—building a stream of income, learning a new skill, maybe even just cleaning my room. But I just couldn’t summon the energy.
What if I failed? What if it amounted to nothing? What if it was too hard to learn? Also, where the heck was I even supposed to start?
And honestly? I was tempted to dive into the "darker" side of stimulation—more extreme games, deeper rabbit holes of the internet, anything to chase a bigger rush. But I knew those things would mess me up permanently.
No amount of dopamine was worth that kind of regret.
The Hard Work Revelation
Then it hit me: I wasn’t bored because life was boring. I was bored because I wasn’t doing anything.
No hard work, no learning, no growth. I was just coasting, waiting for life to hand me excitement on a silver platter. (Spoiler: it doesn’t.)
Life has gotten too easy. We have infinite distractions at our fingertips, and we use them to avoid thinking about hard things. The second we’re left alone with our thoughts, that big, existential question creeps in: What the heck am I doing with my life?
You know what they don’t tell you about hard work? It actually feels good. Not at first—at first, it sucks. Like, "why am I even doing this?" sucks. But when you finally see results? When you nail that project, finish that workout, or even just clean your disaster of a room?
That’s the real dopamine rush. The kind that lasts.
Let’s be honest—if life were just pizza, Netflix, and zero responsibilities, it’d get boring fast. You’d think a life of constant pleasure would be the ultimate goal, right?
Wrong. Without a little bit of struggle, even the best things start to feel like stale bread.
The Dopamine Problem
Here’s a quick science-y bit for you: dopamine is the brain’s "feel-good" chemical, released when you do something enjoyable. But here’s the kicker—it’s not infinite.
The more dopamine you flood your brain with, the harder it is to feel excited about the small stuff. It’s like if every day were your birthday, you’d eventually get tired of cake. (Okay, maybe not cake—but you get the idea.)
Philosophers have been onto this for centuries.
Plato once described Socrates rubbing his aching leg and saying, “How strange would appear to be this thing that men call pleasure! And how curiously it is related to what is thought to be its opposite, pain!” Basically, pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin.
Modern psychology backs this up with the "opponent-process" theory, which suggests that our brains are wired for balance. If you chase too much pleasure, your brain compensates by dulling the sensation over time.
This is why what once thrilled you eventually feels "meh." It’s also why mixing pain and pleasure—like sipping cold milk after a hot bath or chugging a soda while eating spicy noodles—feels oddly amazing.
So, What Can You Do?
If you’ve also been trapped in an instant gratification loop, here’s how to break out:
Start Small: Big, dramatic changes are overrated. Start with something simple, like making your bed every morning. (Yes, it sounds cliché, but it tricks your brain into feeling accomplished.)
Learn Something New: Whether it’s cooking, coding, or attempting to dance without looking like a malfunctioning robot, learning keeps your brain engaged. Plus, it’s way more satisfying than doom-scrolling for hours.
Create Instead of Consume: Draw something. Write a story. Build a birdhouse. It doesn’t have to be good—it just has to be yours. Creating something gives you a sense of purpose that binge-watching can’t.
Exercise (Even If It Sucks): You don’t have to run a marathon, but move your body. Go for a walk, lift some weights, or do five push-ups and call it a day. The point is to remind your brain that effort can actually feel good.
Set “Boring” Goals: Some of the most satisfying achievements are the ones no one talks about—like drinking enough water, avoiding carbonated water or finally tackling that laundry pile.
A Final Thought
Life isn’t supposed to be one long dopamine binge. The lows, the effort, the struggles—that’s what makes the highs feel like highs.
Sure, it’s tempting to avoid hard work and chase easy pleasures instead, but trust me, it’s a trap. The real magic happens when you stop running from discomfort and start embracing it.
So, put down the remote (or phone) and go do something hard. Your brain will thank you later.