Why Quit Porn?
Reasons Beyond The Reason. Taking On Responsibility.
NOFAPSELF DEVELOPMENT
6/13/20239 min read
I have experienced a profound shift in my perspective when it comes to pornography and video games.
Previously, I believed that they were solely responsible for my lack of career success and personal achievements. However, I now understand that placing the blame solely on these forms of entertainment is an oversimplification of the issue.
It is true that addiction can take many forms, ranging from pornography and video games to social media and even seemingly positive activities like working out and consuming self-help content.
On the other end of the spectrum, there are far more destructive addictions, such as drugs, gambling, alcoholism, or engaging in extreme sports that can have dire consequences, even leading to death.
Ultimately, what truly matters is not the specific object or activity one becomes addicted to (excluding highly destructive substances like drugs), but rather how we choose to cope with our problems.
In my own journey, I used video gaming and pornography as a way to escape and avoid facing the difficulties and existential challenges in my life.
This pattern of avoidance can be traced back to a fear of failure deeply ingrained in me since childhood, largely due to the authoritarian parenting style my parents employed.
While my parents had good intentions and only wanted the best for me, their emphasis on punishment and strict adherence to their ways instilled a pervasive fear within me.
As the eldest sibling, I constantly strived to meet their expectations, as it was a means of gaining their affection and approval.
However, I have come to realize that evading challenges and avoiding failure does not lead to solutions. Instead, it only stifles personal growth and strains relationships.
Now, I am exhausted from constantly running away, and I am actively seeking a change in my approach. I no longer rely on pornography and video games as coping mechanisms.
Instead, I am striving to embrace failures as opportunities for growth and learning.
As the song goes, 'You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium.' I am determined to become resilient in the face of challenges and overcome setbacks on my journey to personal development.
Of course, there are additional reasons that have reinforced my decision to quit pornography altogether.
Some of these reasons were insidious and remained largely unnoticed until I started connecting the dots between addiction and the influence of pornography on various aspects of life and relationships."
By delving deeper into these underlying reasons and shedding light on the harmful effects of pornography, I have become even more committed to breaking free from its grasp and fostering healthier relationships and perspectives.
Perception Of Relationship And Women
One significant aspect that pornography affects is our perception of women, sex, and relationships.
Pornography subtly influences our judgments of women, primarily focusing on their physical appearance and reinforcing the objectification of women as sexual objects.
The exaggerated portrayal of women's body parts and the unrealistic depiction of sex can create distorted expectations and hinder our ability to appreciate women as complex individuals.
Furthermore, pornography often depicts women in submissive roles, perpetuating power dynamics that can negatively impact real-life relationships.
It reinforces the notion that a man's worth is determined by the size of his "rod," the number of sexual partners he can handle in a session, and the duration of his sexual encounters.
I for one had been self-doubting myself for years in my own ability to please women due to my puny rod size (compared to porn actors).
However, since abstaining from pornography for almost two months (as with my previous attempt), I have noticed significant changes in my perception.
I have learned to appreciate and celebrate my wife's unique curves, focusing on the sensual experience and connection rather than comparing myself to unrealistic standards.
The absence of the so-called 'death grip' has allowed me to regain sensitivity and experience more fulfilling intimate moments with my partner.
Moreover, I have started to recognize and value the effort women put into maintaining their bodies and the character traits that go beyond physical appearances.
I have developed a deeper appreciation for the beauty of pregnant mothers, understanding the incredible journey and sacrifices they go through during pregnancy.
These changes in perception have allowed me to foster healthier and more meaningful relationships.
By breaking free from the influence of pornography, I have been able to develop a greater understanding of the true beauty and depth that women possess, and I now approach intimacy with a sense of genuine connection and appreciation.
It is important to note that this transformation is ongoing, and I continue to work on unlearning the objectifying narratives that pornography instilled in me.
However, the progress I have made thus far has been immensely rewarding, and I am committed to nurturing authentic, respectful relationships that go beyond superficial judgments and unrealistic expectations.
Desensitization And The Need For Extreme Content
One of the detrimental effects of my addiction was the growing need for increasingly explicit and unconventional material to satisfy my desires.
This pattern of seeking out more extreme content is a classic sign of addiction and tolerance.
From initially watching vanilla content, I found myself delving into more unconventional genres like lesbian, rape fantasy, and even hentai featuring monsters and futanari.
This progression towards more extreme material is a clear indication of the impact of addiction on one's preferences.
I was taken aback when I discovered myself becoming desensitized to content that previously repulsed me, such as gangbangs.
It alarmed me because I do not want to reach a point of no return where I find enjoyment in even more disturbing genres like lolicon or explicit smut.
Furthermore, the voyeuristic nature of pornography adds another layer of concern.
Engaging in porn means deriving pleasure from watching others engage in sexual acts, whether consensual or not.
Take a moment to reflect on this:
When you are deriving satisfaction from watching someone you desire being pinned down by others, consider how you would feel if you witnessed a real person that you desired engaging in such activity with you not being the main character. Instead of arousal, wouldn't you feel anger and depression?
Not just porn. It is the same as using social media to see how others live or watching sports events etc.
Continuously witnessing others fulfilling our fantasies while we remain passive observers can have a profound impact on our mentality. It may lead us to question our own initiative and motivation to pursue our desires.
Are we content with living vicariously through the experiences of others, or do we have the drive to actively seek fulfillment in our own lives?
By allowing my brain to reset and abstaining from pornography, I am taking a significant step towards personal growth and protecting myself and those around me from potential harm.
While I may doubt that I would ever become a pervert, it is better to eliminate the possibility entirely. Some may view this caution as paranoia, but considering the increasingly bizarre trends in the world, it is wise to prioritize prevention over cure.
By breaking free from the influence of extreme pornography and taking control of my desires, I am striving for a healthier and more fulfilling life—one that is not defined by seeking out increasingly explicit content but rather by genuine connections, personal growth, and the pursuit of meaningful experiences.
Irritability and Negative Mood Effects
Engaging in pornography or video gaming sessions has had a noticeable impact on my mood, often leading to increased irritability, especially when interrupted.
Unfortunately, this negative effect on my emotional state has taken a toll on my relationships.
Interestingly, the same interruption during work doesn't evoke the same level of frustration.
It's almost as if work is seen as legitimate and acceptable, while engaging in PMO (pornography, masturbation, orgasm) is laden with guilt and fear of being discovered, especially by my own children. The thought of it potentially affecting them negatively is deeply concerning.
Moreover, the irritability I experience is not limited to the moment of interruption alone.
I often find myself feeling slightly depressed and angry with myself after engaging in PMO. This reaction is likely a result of the guilt that arises from realizing I could have better utilized my time and energy.
These negative emotions can linger for days, especially when PMO becomes a frequent habit. The cumulative effect of dissatisfaction and self-criticism can take its toll on overall well-being.
However, since embarking on my journey of abstinence, I have noticed a significant improvement in my ability to manage my temper and handle emotional outbursts.
The practice of abstaining from pornography and gaming has allowed me to cultivate a calmer demeanor and a greater sense of control over my emotions.
By distancing myself from these addictive behaviors, I am actively working towards building healthier relationships, fostering a more positive mood, and creating a sense of fulfillment in my life.
It is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, where I strive to prioritize my well-being and find healthier outlets for my time and energy.
Easily Distracted and Improved Focus
The excessive use of pornography and video games had made me highly susceptible to distractions, especially activities that provided instant and effortless dopamine rushes.
Mindless reading, consuming media, and video gaming became my go-to distractions, hindering my ability to focus on more demanding tasks.
Tasks like writing and reading, particularly physical books, presented significant challenges for me. I struggled to maintain concentration and found it difficult to engage with the material.
However, after just two weeks of abstaining from pornography and video games, I began to notice a remarkable change.
My ability to read improved significantly, allowing me to complete approximately one book per week.
As I started to prioritize depth over quantity, I slowed down my reading pace, allowing myself to fully digest and review the valuable lessons shared within each book.
Furthermore, my newfound focus extended to my writing as well. I am now able to dedicate at least two hours each day to writing, which was once an impossible feat without constantly surfing the internet or giving in to the temptation of gaming.
Through this journey of abstinence, I have discovered that I can derive greater enjoyment from the simple pleasures in life, rather than constantly resorting to my phone for distraction whenever I find myself unoccupied.
This newfound ability to appreciate the little things has allowed me to lead a more present and fulfilling life.
By breaking free from the grip of addictive distractions, I have regained control over my attention and honed my ability to concentrate on tasks that truly matter, enabling personal growth, intellectual development, and a richer experience of the world around me.
Afterword
Realizing that pornography and video gaming are not the cause of my problems in life has had a profound effect on me. It marks the moment when I finally took responsibility for my own actions and made the decision to actively bring about positive changes in my life.
This realization aligns with Simon Sinek's emphasis on self-awareness, where seeking out information and being aware of personal blind spots becomes crucial.
By taking responsibility and actively working to change those aspects of my life, I am becoming a better person.
Distancing myself from pornography and video games has opened up new avenues for joy in the simple things in life and has allowed me to fully embrace personal growth. I find that I can now focus better and enjoy my relationships more deeply.
Moreover, I feel more confident and calmer, no longer needing to hide from my loved ones or lie to them about my activities. I no longer have to pretend that I am not playing games when I should be working.
It's important to acknowledge that overcoming addiction is a process that takes time. Each step forward brings us closer to a healthier and more fulfilling life.
By recognizing the impact of my choices and actively making changes, I am gradually building a better future for myself.
If pornography or video gaming is also affecting your life, I warmly invite you to join me on this transformative journey of abstinence and personal growth.
Even embarking on a 30-day trial can have a significant impact on your well-being and overall happiness.
Together, we can support each other in breaking free from the grip of these distractions and reclaiming control over our lives.
By committing to this challenge, we create an opportunity to discover new passions, enhance our relationships, and cultivate a healthier mindset.
Remember, this journey is not about depriving ourselves but rather about empowering ourselves to make conscious choices that align with our values and aspirations. By taking this step, we are actively investing in our personal growth and well-being.
If you're ready to embark on this journey, I encourage you to reach out for support and resources.
Whether it's seeking guidance from friends, joining online communities, or utilizing self-help materials, building a strong support system can significantly enhance your chances of success.
Together, let's embrace the opportunity for change and personal transformation. By committing to a trial period of abstinence, we can unlock a world of possibilities and create a more fulfilling life.
With love.